Not all art is on a canvas – Marriage is an art

The art of marriage is different for every couple this is just a little insight on how our marriage works. Your marriage could be beautiful or not so much … someone may look at your marriage and totally understand it while another person could be completely lost in the the art of your marriage. The reason it is an art is because you work hard to make it look the way you want it to look.

I have been married now for 10 wonderful years. How ever my husband and I have been together for much longer. We are high school sweethearts. We have 3 wonderful children which calls for a very busy life. When you are married there are so many things that become routine in your lives. Sometimes when you get stuck in these ruts it is hard to get out of them and grow your relationship and make it stronger.

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You sit and look back at your life and realize another school year has come and gone and your kids just keep getting older. You look across the table at your husband and he is busy on his laptop sending emails and it reminds you that he will be working late for the next week. The household runs smoothly and all of the kids needs are taken care of. But you realize that you and your husband have settled into a life together that feels more like living with a roommate and less like the young lovers we use to be.

Over the years, our sex life has slowly become early morning quickies and any chance you could fit it in with out the children walking in or wanting your attention. You think back on the days when our sex life was great. I use to made an effort to wear sexy lingerie and my husband made the effort to get me in the mood in all the right ways. We both made the effort and it was fun. Now it seems like passion is the last thing on our minds so we settle for a late night movie or a TV show until we fall  asleep. Even though I still love my husband very much that flame almost seems extinguished.

Save-Your-MarriageThis is what was happening in my life and I was done with it and I was ready for a change. So I planned a couples get away. I asked my sister -in -law to watch my kiddos for the weekend and made everything perfect. I made sure my husband took off work on Friday so we could start early and make the weekend amazing. I booked the hotel, made all of our dinner reservations and of course I planned all sorts of fun “couples games”. A few of the games were relationship building games and the others were to help re-ignite that flame in the bedroom.

I have to tell you I think we found our spark. We got the most amazing, relaxful and meaningful weekend that I have had since before we were married.

Now let me tell you a little about the weekend and how I feel we grew together.

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Friday we got to the Red Lion Hotel around 3:30 in the afternoon. We checked in and they gave us our keys. So to the 9th floor we went both a little nervous but very excited to spend time alone and pull each other out of this rut. We get to the room and open the door and I see someone hurry and close the bathroom door. My husband then pushes me out of the door and the man comes out. Ends up that we have the exact same room key. I went down to the front desk a little upset and really emotional. I thought how could our first weekend together in many many years start out this way. I was quickly proven wrong. I got to the front desk and they realized they made a huge mistake so they upgraded our room and free dinner at the hotel restaurant for both nights of our stay.

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So went up to our 12th floor suite with a beautiful view of the entire Valley. The room was awesome and we got to it played some games and reintroduced ourselves to each other. Then we took time to get all dolled up and went to have a great dinner, compliments of the hotel, and it was fabulous.

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Saturday we woke up had a great breakfast lounged around played another fun game and then headed to the pool. We hung out at the pool for a few hours and it was the most peaceful relaxful few hours a mother of 3 has had EVER.

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After I took way too long getting ready we walked over to a local movie and dinner place called Brewvies. We decided to go to an earlier movie around 4:30 and we weren’t really hungry yet and we knew we had free dinner so we just ordered their nachos which they said was the most popular item on the menu. They were amazing full of great taste and lots of good stuff.

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The following day we just took it slow spent a lot of quality time together and did something that I have never had the courage to do. We went to Massage Envy and got a couples massage. Now if you have had massages before you are wondering why I have never had one but if you  have not you probably had the same concerns as me. I do not like to be touched by complete strangers and that puts me on edge. But in the end it turned out amazing and I left feeling like I was walking on a cloud.

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All in all I say the weekend was a success so as per my advise here are the top things I would do to re-spark your Union.

  1. Laugh together  – Play games, laugh have fun with each other
  2. Date night – Make time to spend time alone
  3. Ditch the PJ’s – Take time to look nice for your significant other it makes both of you feel good
  4. Appreciate and Compliment each other  – Take time to notice little things that you like about each other and share those things
  5. Make time for sex – Learn to make time to sex and love making it will make your love life even better
  6. Have seperate Interests – Make sure you have some private space, and give your spouse some, too. Marriage entails a lot of togetherness, but you don’t need to be joined at the hip
  7. Love Each other

For some great ideas Check out Dating Divas they have games, date night ideas and so much more. Let me know what your marriage tips or ideas are we would love to hear all about it so we can share it. #mommyartists #dating-advice #healthymarriage

 

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